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Introducing the Lesbian Love Guru

This summer I had the good fortune to meet Christine Dunn-Cunningham, better known as the Lesbian Love Guru. I was a little bit skeptical (that name is some big britches to fill!) so I settled in,...

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FEMME SEX WEEK: Excerpt from my Memoir for International Fisting Day

It may seem kind of flippant to have a whole day dedicated to fisting, but it’s actually born of the struggles Courtney has had as a pornographer getting distribution for films that involve fisting....

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FEMME SEX WEEK: My Experience with Getting Femme Visibility on the Streets

I've noticed over the last year or so that I have had an increase in my own queer visibility on the street. I tend to tweet about it whenever it happens because I'm usually alone and it's so remarkable...

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Link Farm: Marriage is not a Coupon to Redeem, International Day to End...

“Marriage is like a chlorinated community pool that we now have access to. I think that people forget that queers have been swimming in the ocean the whole time. We have always had to be creative about...

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Guest Post: How to Be a Good Ally to My Crippled Arm

My bestie Jacqueline Mary is disabled in a way where it is not readily apparent to the naked eye. Her arm was shattered in a bike accident a couple of years ago and the initial surgery restored only a...

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I Got Back Together with My Ex and Started Relationship Coaching with the...

With the heady mix of old intimacy and new relationship energy, I suggested we might want to get relationship coaching. In fact, neither of us is willing to call each other “girlfriend” yet because we...

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My Second Session of Relationship Coaching with the Lesbian Love Guru

My not-yet girlfriend and I had our second session of relationship coaching the week after we began. Christine suggested we continue our coaching separately. It’s counterintuitive to how I pictured...

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Untapped Cruising Territory: NPR Singles’ Mixers

Awhile ago I started a blog adventure to go to regions of NYC looking for queer cruising opportunities I hadn't explored. I believe life begins at the end of your comfort zone and I really think that's...

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Are you Single and Ready to Manifest Your Dream Date?

Christine had some incredibly valuable advice for me and Dara about how to communicate better and to have a more fulfilling relationship. What surprised me about the process of her coaching was that we...

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Additions to the Queer Lexicography: You’ve Got Toptions

Toptions. This is the idea that you have a lot of different Tops to choose from. And yes, I'm talking about Tops in a sexual way not a sartorial way, but feel free to use it that way too, especially...

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Loving Her Was Like Driving a New Maserati Down a Dead End Street

Our connection was so good! Like a hot fast car you can’t take anywhere. I read recently that we become whole and complete ourselves but there’s work we can only do on ourselves in relation to someone...

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The Best Boundary Ever Award

Seth and I were 24 when we started dating and they had a previous relationship that was a volatile. Many break-ups and reconciliations. So they said very definitively at the outset that we couldn't...

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The Distinction Between Courtship and Dating

If there is one lesson I could teach the 27 year old Bevin that began this blog it’s the distinction between courtship and dating.

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Nobody Ever Died of Awkward: A Funny Flattering Script for Asking People Out

more hard conversations I know how important developing the skills to have those conversations is to creating a life worth living. A script makes that easier!

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The Date I Learned I was a Specialty Food

May the thoughts of you as a specialty food, brought here on earth just for the people you’re here for. Find the people who delight you, who you admire, who feel safe to be around. Spend more time with...

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Being a Visible Queer Adult Saves Lives

Standing in my truth is a way I bust up the lies I tell myself to "keep myself safe" by keeping myself small. I know because I have gone through something someone else out there probably has, too. My...

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Call it Hand S*x Not Fingering!

Let’s remember that hands have five digits each and the vigorousness, stamina and strength one can offer with a forearm is far more than what’s possible with other appendages.

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The Relationship Great Glass Elevator

I was a Roald Dahl girlie growing up so understanding archetypes based in those narratives makes sense to me. I came up with this idea about the Relationship Great Glass Elevator that helps me...

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I’m Looking for a Few Good Dates this Winter!

It's cuffing season! That sacred time of year that people seek to keep warm with someone they want to stay safer at home with! I recognize that probably less than 10% of the people reading this even...

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